life-love-chocolate..

i love chocolate..very much..
i love to love and being loved also..
but ya..
i hate life..
life is always a paradox..
in my life..
many guys..came into my life..and gone..like a puff of smoke..
i have no regrets to be with them..
but..I'm so fed up with this..
today..
he has gone away from my life..
and ya..like what he said..
our love..will never ends..
I..ya..choose to believe this statement..
but ya..I dun really know when will my last breath be..
so..
until the day I die..
I love you ya..Saiah..
bye..
enjoy your life exploration..
I..
have to cont my life..
waiting for that day to come..
the day..the book to be be reopened again..


ps , our love story..to be cont..

His will..

do you believe in God's will..
He has told me about His will..
but..
it's not my will..
I dun like His plan..
but..after all..
we are His creation..
He is our Father..
He knows us better than we know ourselves..
and so..
I choose..
to follow His will..
just like what Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane..
"..Not my will be done,but Yours.."
Amen..

long road to freedom ..

see the boy..he has a long road ahead of him..
I'm wondering..If I were him..will i complain while walking..'cause..it's such a long long road to go..as if there's no end..everything is so uncertain..so unsure..accidents may happen during the journey..I may fall down and no one will come for a help as u see..there's no people along the road..

yet..the little boy there..look so determined in finishing the journey..though he's small in size..but he's doing his best to walk..to complete this journey..that looks endless..see..he stretched out his arms..trying to balance himself..just by watching his back..I can see his determination..to continue this journey..

I hope I can be like this little boy..persevered in my life journey..never give up the things that I'm
pursuing now..the path maybe narrow and winding..
but thank God,there's always comfort provided from Him..
Life maybe tough now..but God's gracious..He sent His
angels for me..when I fall down,He'll pick me up and carry me
through the hardships in my life..

the long road to freedom..
I'm not alone in this walk..
God's with me..
my family and friends are with me..
he's with me..
Amen.

first day of new school semester..

"check it out now!
To God be the glory!"

these two lines are in one of the songs we sang in the Bidor VBS camp..such a catchy and cool song..it uses the lyrics of my favourite Christian old hymn but with a cool and R&B music..kaka..I have had a lot of fun in that camp..and have indeed learned a lot of lessons from the camp as well as from the children..thank God that there were around four children accepted Christ during the camp..You know what..I was asked to be the helper in the kitchen station..gosh..can you imagine a girl who can't even fry an egg "presentably" have to teach the children about the lessons through making their own food?But still..thank God that sister Jenee was there for me..and that..kaka..the food..in fact..was kinda easy to prepare only..lolz..perasan ni..

this camp is kinda special for me..as there were so many of my first-time-experiences here..first time to be a helper in camp,first time to travel to Bidor alone,first time to do serving in children ministry,first time to be helper together with Isaic,first time to watch arsenal-manchester utd match,first time to co-operate with a crew of Christians whom I have never met b4,first time to buy gifts for children,first time to take Indian food for three days consecutively...so so many first-time-experiences I had in this camp..that makes this camp become so unique for me personally..

I will always remember all the laughter and jokes that I shared with the children and helpers in the camp..I'm really thankful that I didn't miss the chance to be there..Once again,I could feel how great and loving our Almighty God is..how deep and perfect is His love for us..The kind of indescribable feeling..that reminds me again that..ya..He's the Lord your God..who loves me and will never forsake me..No one can love us so much..not even our parents..not even our soul mates..At the end of the days..once again..thank God..and..ya..have been a long time didn't say this to you..dear Father..I love you..

"There is only one God"
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart"
" He will never leave you nor forsake you"
Amen....

one-week-holiday..

"happy holiday!"
that's what my chemistry teacher greeted me just now..
phew..finally..can have some rest..but who knows ..my holiday is cramped with tonnes of works again..life goes on..sigh..oh ya..about the debate..our team was the winner..nothing special..life goes on..have learned something from it..not bad..
wanna have a retreat la..quiet,stress-free lifestyle..need a good rest...maybe not long..but as least..you know..one whole day don't have to do anything tedious..just enjoy life..enjoy the sunshine..if possible..the ocean salty smell..waves hitting the rocks..reddish orange sunset..
sigh..m daydreaming ..don't have to bother me now..don't try to interrupt my dream now..just give me five min of having a temporary good rest..Lol..
m going to attend a camp in bidor..as a helper..hope can learn something from it also..and m going to watch arsenal-manchester-united match..on 29 aug..hope everything will be fine when i'm watching this match..really hope that the ceiling wont get torn when arsenal scores goals..kaka..somebody..remember to behave yourself in people's house..kaka..
I'm ready..holiday..

To be or not to be..

today was a "surprise surprise" day..M again stuck in this dim-lighted and warm digital library..haven't taken my lunch..sorry to God..i starved myself again..but anyway..I
know it's not a good habit..but you know..humans tend to commit sin everyday..Dilemma ni..

okie,come back to my topic today..surprises..it's like this..I have been appointed to be the President of English Language Society..Is it a blessing ..kaka..or a curse..wu..sigh..in short,it means one more responsibility is with me now..and..you know..it's a..kinda heavy one..and another surprise is ..er..mmm..cant be announced publicly now..I'm told not to tell anyone about this surprise before the right time comes..so be patient ya..kaka..mm..but now..i feel like..my shoulder is kinda heavy..many many things to do..many many roles to play..many responsibilities to bear..that's why..M now wondering..should i decline that second surprise..that's why..to be or not to be..this second surprise is
kinda..attractive..alluring..tempting..mm..

but still..hehe..I've made up my mind..I know what should my life priority be..nothing is more important than Him..fame,authority,riches in the world..they're here today ...but gone tomorrow..ya..that surprise may look good for me..it helps me to gain more respect and reputation..many ppl may think that i'm very capable..i'm an all-rounded student..but..still..how ppl look at me..not important..it's how God looks at me..that realy cares..so..hehe..I know what to be now,how abt u?live your life for God or for the world?
I choose God..becoz He's my Father..Amen..

P.s i love you..

m kinda emo now..wanna cry..but no tears flow from my eyes..mayb it's because my eyes have become so tired ard..no more tears for me to cry..

listening to the man who cant be moved now..the lyrics of this song..kinda unbelievable,dramatic..excuse me??camp in sleeping bag?not gonna move?but somehow or rather..it touched my heart..deep down to the bottom..of my heart..

i'm not a good gal..last time did many cruel things to many guys..used to leave them when they thought that it's almost time for me to accept them..be their gf..but..evrytime..when that time came..i would leave them..ya..coz I know..they are not the chosen one..not the correct one..but this brought lots of pain to them..sorry ya..to all of you..who have been hurt by me..

this time..dun wanna do this cruel thing again..hope i dun have to..this time..shud b d right one..cant afford to get wrong again..my heart grows realy fatigued d..have realy put in effort n m realy serious this time..

he has introduced one movie for me to watch..P.s i love you..mayb u can have a watch on it oso..